When Parents Come to Visit...

There are so many cliché phrases that come to mind when trying to relate yourself to your parents, growing up and becoming something (likely in an image of your parents)... For better or worse, we are our parents' offspring, and there a close genetic, social, cultural, ideological (etc) tie, obvio... In addition to those clichéd phrases, there are a handful of periods in ones life when we tend to be more critical/questioning of our parents, as people, as parents, as friends, etc...

1. 2-5: Why? This is less of an analytical period in our lives and more of a - literally, why? We are thirsty for knowledge and for right or wrong, assume that our parents have all the answers...
2. 10-13: Change... We begin becoming 'young adults' and, more now than ever, younger people are exposed to more 'global' affairs, social hierarchy, athletic competition (at a slightly higher level), and some of the trials and tribulations that our parents deal with on a daily basis...
3. 14-18: Idiots! During the high-school years, parents can generally only be described as utterly ridiculous, and mostly stupid - how could they understand so little about our lives, know so little about life, and be so blatantly dumb... This is certainly the stereotype, and no matter how great your parents (or mine for that matter) are/were, every kid has these thoughts at least once between these ages/within this schooling period.
4. 19-22: I love college! Maybe it is the ability to finally vote that begins a transformation to 'real' adulthood, but when you go to college (assuming you don't live at home and don't see your parents as frequently as you did in high school - caveat: being in South America changes this scale a bit - you begin to realize that your parents probably did a pretty good job of raising you, or at least, this is the hope that parents have, right? They want to be loved, respected, and treated like people who have done a good job in creating, raising, and supporting their offspring until they have reached a point of becoming a full-fledged, independent adult... At the same time, we, as 'children' can begin to unabashedly critique our parents, as humans, and less as parents - call this 'reflection'...
5. 22-29: Holy shit! Unfortunately, when you graduate from college (if it takes you more than 5 years, and you don't have multiple degrees, your parent are likely VERY supportive of whatever it is that you are dealing with on a more personal level), your eyes are wide open - I'm a college graduate, I have a job (hopefully), and I am trying to support myself, sweet!! Right, and then reality smacks you in the face, and you realize you need to budget the Rahmen noodles, hot dogs, PBR, and jungle juice because rent is expensive, your cell phone is not cheap with all the gadgets/plans you 'need' to have, the car, insurance, gas, parking adds up quick, and that doesn't even count the gym membership, nites out on the town with friends, and any other 'luxuries' like health insurance (ideally, your company's share keeps your premium down to a reasonable level, but good luck with 'additional' medical support for specialists like the dermatologist, the psychologist, opthomologist, etc)... The biggest adjustment that many of us 'children' need to make comes in the form of lifestyle, and often, this is when credit card debt becomes a problem for people in my generation. I've always been terrified of 'debt' on a personal/consumer level, because it suggests a lack of control, and excess beyond the means by which you have the ability to afford yourself the opportunity to live/continue living in such a form as you were provided by your parents - call this the wake up call. Life really begins, you are finding yourself, meeting your 'crew' (if you grow up and do not continue to only spend time with friends from high school and/or college - caveat: I have been lucky in that I have great friends from each stage, and have tried to incorporate all of them in to my life, together, to further unify the 'crew'), maybe your significant other, and potentially find a place for yourself in the world, all the while, realizing that your parents (with luck and health) are still around, and very supportive of your decisions. Clearly, I have the most to discuss in this area, as I feel the amount of growth I have made in this period has been remarkable, and certainly, have been at odds with my parents over a handful of things, as adults and parents over the years, but it is with each conversation with them, their parents, and the extended family, that I realize that I'm a pretty lucky kid...
6: 30+ Who knows?! I'm not their yet, but when I hit the big 3-0, gulp, I'm sure I'll have reached another point in my life to be more critical of my parents...

That all aside, my parents wanted to pay me a visit in South America - great call! As was the case in college, or, whenever I have lived outside of Chicago, it means, free stuff! I kid (sorta)... They had been extremely supportive of me in the decision to move abroad, follow my dreams, learn a language, etc, and it was only appropriate that we spent the better part of the first 4 months of my time here planning their trip to visit. With some luck, it overlapped with my sister's visit a bit, so the opportunity all be in the same place was pretty cool. That said, my parents aren't exactly travel junkies - my dad is on the road a lot for work, and my mom should probably be a New Yorker (afterall, she grew up in CT and went to college on Strong Island) and isn't much of a tourist, so, needless to say, I was given the role of guide, babysitter, event coordinator, concierge, etc...

It always seemed ok when the people who came to visit wanted to know about the City, do stuff, be shown about, etc, but when it's your parents, things seem to change - they won't go away, they are always in your business, etc... It's understandable that my parents wanted to experience what it was that I had been doing for the previous 5 months, but it felt an awful lot like interference, which totally prevented me from being 'normal' and in the end, it stressed me out beyond belief. Getting back to their traveling patterns, as a pair, I'm not sure of the last time they took an 'exploratory' vacation to a new place (I do not necessarily include weekend getaways with friends at a house, or a destination hotel/spa), so coming here was certainly a long trip. So, not being a huge walking pair - as I said, my mom should be a New Yorker, where taking cabs it the 'easier' thing to do - it was tough for me to suggest things to do, because BA is very much a walking/exploratory City, I mean, there are north of 12 million people who live here, so there's lots to see, but not as much to 'do' during the day...

We hit up the obligatory museums, some great restaurant spots for lunch and dinner, and I sent them on their own day of exploration to San Telmo, where they could have their own vacation, and not feel like they were only in South America to visit me - caveat (another): they continued on to Mendoza to do some wine touring/spa time, and then to Santiago, a city my dad had been to only once before for work, a long time ago...

In all, the 6 days I got to spend with my parents, in my new home - they were not too keen on me calling BA 'home' but, tough shit - was great, and despite the remarkable stress it caused me, I have realized that to have that opportunity (my parents coming to visit me in the country I live in, about a 16 hour door-to-door trip from Chicago) is really lucky.

Mom, Dad, thank you, I love you both.

When you come back, plan ahead... Besos y abrazos